omg

omg. my blood pressure was so high today i literally could see it and all i could do was just take deep breaths. i don't know why i got off on the wrong foot this morning, i just did. and baby was just her normal self, not particularly fussy or difficult. it got really bad when i misjudged her nap time. even though i knew it was my own fault for the situation i was in, i was still fuming. basically baby woke up a little later, so she wasn't tired when her usual nap time rolled around. i was so ready for her to go to sleep, but she absolutely refused. after trying to nurse her down for 30 minutes, i gave up and just decided to lay in bed and pretended to sleep while she figured out what she wanted to do. this lasted an hour. after her flopping around on the bed and crying for at least half the time, i decided to get up and get on with the day. boy did i have a terrible scowl on my face.

it's days like today when i really have to stop and ask myself, why do i get so mad? what is so important that i have to do that's making me feel like i'm going to bash my own head in when baby decides to change up the schedule? i guess looking forward to a little break and just zoning out, but so what if i don't get to stare into space every day at the same time? my sister in law is a pediatric oncologist that specializes in brain tumors. she deals with tragic cases on a daily basis. whenever i feel like i'm going postal, i just need to stop and thank God that my biggest worry is whether or not baby feels like napping. i don't know what i'd do if she was one of my sis in law's patients wondering how much more time they even have.