hello stranger

it's been quite some time since i last posted. haven't really had anything pressing to get off my chest. the last few weeks have been generally ho hum. i did finally get a babysitter. she started at the beginning of september and comes two afternoons a week. having her has truly changed my life. i don't know how i managed without her. actually, i barely survived without her.

anyway, i've always questioned the whole point of having kids. it's such hard work and not really that much fun either. but, now that baby is 18 months old and becoming more of a person each day, i'm slowly beginning to see the light and can kind of appreciate raising a child. for example, our neighbor's son who's baby's age was visiting the other night and is really afraid of dogs. every time our dog would get close to him, he'd fuss and jump in my lap. i'd tell our dog to shoo and go sit somewhere else. somehow, baby understood his fear and put her hand on the boy's shoulder and also patted his head. then she'd run over to the dog and pet her and was trying to show her friend that the dog was nice and there was nothing to be afraid of. then she'd come back over to her friend and give him a hug. i was pretty blown away by this behavior. she really showed compassion and and empathy. having never seen an example of such behavior, it is just a display of a pure heart. i guess that is one of the benefits of having kids. being able to experience a pure heart. an untarnished soul. sure, kids can be mischievous, but never malicious.

even this morning, while walking home through our neighborhood after breakfast, the pure joy and wonder on her face looking at every little thing along the way just makes you want to freeze time and somehow capture it in a box that you can save forever. it sounds so cheesy, but the pure innocence doesn't last forever. i guess it's a little wake up call for me to start savoring these moments.