sadly, i have another cold. i've never been so sickly in my life. this is my third cold in the past 6 weeks. i went to the doctor a couple weeks ago because i thought i had the flu, but it was just a bad cold. i'm so tired of being sick. the worst part about it is lying in bed at night with a swollen and throbbing nasal passage. one of the outcomes of the doctor's visit was that i found out i had really low calcium levels. i've always had low calcium due to not having a thyroid and i am supposed to take supplements, however, until now, i haven't found a palatable way to get my daily dose. regular tablets are not only huge, they tend to cause a little nausea. then those viactiv soft chews came out, but they still tasted funky and hurt my teeth when i ate them. then those adora chocolates came out, but they also tasted gross and i'm not a huge chocolate fan. finally, i've discovered wellesse. it's a liquid supplement that comes in a citrus flavor. just two tablespoons a day does the trick. it's not exactly delicious, but taking it is totally a non event, so hopefully i can stick with it.
this past weekend, i was exposed to two little babies. i got to hold them and tried to recall what baby was like at that age (8 weeks old). i seriously could not remember what baby was like at that age. i do remember that i was tired and a bit overwhelmed with everything. i enjoyed holding the babies and thought they were cute, but there was not a single cell in my body that wanted to have another one. really, if my ovaries were to dry up and make it impossible for me to have another one, i wouldn't care. i know that i'm going to have another one at some point (because that's what husband wants), but maybe by then, my attitude might change. i know i'm just kidding myself, but i have to think that. i have to keep forging ahead. there's no going back now. i'm already a mom...my life is already over...what's having another one going to do?
0 comments:
Post a Comment