So, my mom is coming for a weekend visit tomorrow. She hasn't seen baby since July 4th weekend. I'm pretty sure that she's going to be holding baby every minute of the day, so yay for me. I was an only child and growing up as an only was kind of tough. The positive aspects were primarily of a material nature. I didn't have to share anything and I think my parents tried to create happiness by monetary means. My father didn't know how to be fun or loving. He's pretty much a workaholic and all he cared about was that I didn't leave my clothes on the floor. He also hated it whenever I wore black clothing. Even today he hates it. His way of telling me he loves me is by asking me if I'm taking my vitamins. My mom was a typical strict asian mother. I really couldn't get away with anything and being an only child, getting into trouble was a pretty traumatic ordeal. I observed that in families with siblings, parents seem less scary because you can use your sibling to either help the situation or at least gauge how angry your parents really are. As an only, whenever I got into trouble, it was like I just committed a felony and it was the end of the world. When I talk to my mom about how unhappy my childhood was, she chalks it up to her and my dad being stressed out about finances and also being so busy with work.
Although I kind of hated my mom when I was younger, we are suprisingly close. We only started getting along after I graduated from college. I can definitely say that we've reached another level of closeness after baby was born. I kind of expected her to be all overbearing and bossy when baby was born, but she was quite the opposite. She has been very supportive and agreeable to all the decisions I've made. She's a completely different person today than I remember her being when I was young. I feel lucky to be able to talk to her about how hard I'm finding motherhood to be.
I'm a complainer. It comes naturally. I don't know how my mom puts up with all my complaining, but she does. That's why I enjoy this blog so much. I can complain all I want to, and it doesn't matter. I don't have to think about annoying someone with all my complaining and it feels so good to get stuff off my chest. All my whining about how hard motherhood is seems so depressing, but motherhood IS hard. I don't know why more women aren't more honest about their feelings. I find it hard to believe that all women think being a mother is a joy every single day. That they love enduring night after night of trying to put a baby back to sleep at 3am who finally falls asleep at 5am. I mean, for real. This shit ain't fun. It's just part of being in the trenches, and I like telling the truth of the matter. Sure, I could write about how cute baby's smile is, but that's boring. I like to hold my breath and stomp on the floor and throw tantrums. That's how I roll.
Anyway, I don't have much of a weekly shopping update. I'm kind of shopped out for the moment. I did buy a pair of jeans from James Jeans:
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