Guh.

I'm just going to come right out and say it. Being a mom sucks. I just don't know why people have kids. It's 1) not fun and 2) each minute seems like an eternity. What I really need to do is surrender to the mindset that my life is over. Truly. Well, until baby goes off to boarding school, which she will. I used to have a couple hours in the evening to pursue some interests, but for some reason, it's been taking 2+ hours to get baby to bed so, by the time she goes to sleep, I need to go to bed to maintain my sanity.

Anyway, I'm super cranky and I hope this mood ends. It's a quite miserable feeling and I don't know what to do to make me feel better. Retail therapy hasn't made a dent. I think I may need to hire a part time nanny or something.

On the other end, my mom has been getting on my nerves lately too. I'm noticing that she's aging mentally. She's very sensitive in ways she's never been before. It's hard to explain. I got her a macbook so she could ichat. She's not exactly computer literate, but she's at least knows how to use a mouse. For some reason, she keeps coming up with excuses why she can't get around to trying out the computer. At least she finally turned it on today and when it asked for her network password, she had no idea what it was and I told her to try a couple obvious ones like "password" or her telephone #. All of a sudden, she was like, I just don't have the time to do this now...I have so much work I need to catch up on... Let's do this another time. I was a bit annoyed because we spent two minutes, maybe three at this point trying to get her connected and then she just shut down. Uh...ok.

Hopefully I will be able to relax a bit and cut her and baby some slack. I need like a day off... a day to sleep or do a craft. Kind of be myself for a moment. Hopefully that day will come soon.