Yippee!

So, after a really brutal week of sleepless nights, I've decided it's time to get some help. Luckily, a friend of mine has a baby sitter that happens to need more work. I haven't been this excited in a long time. I hope it works out. The sitter is going to come two days a week from 10am-2 or 3pm. I'm not going to know what to do with myself!

Other than that we'll be taking a road trip for Thanksgiving. I'm a little nervous because baby doesn't really like riding in the car for 20 minutes. I doubt she'll like riding in the car for 7 hours. This is the first time in 4 years that we've spent the holiday with family. The past four holidays involved husband and I booking a table for two at some restaurant offering Thanksgiving dinner. Although I enjoyed the food, I always felt like we were some depressing elderly couple when we dined like that.

I'd love to post a shopping update, but 1) there is way too much to post and 2) I can't even remember half of the stuff I've purchased in the last couple of weeks. One last thing - my birthday is this month and I got my present last week. A Kindle! I love it! I love to read, but hate accumulating books which I have no room for. This has answered my prayers. I've already read 2 books and am reading 2 more. The only drawback I've seen so far is that some of the books I'd like to read are not available on the Kindle. I highly recommend getting one if you love to read.

I dread the night like the thought of getting h1n1.

Been MIA for a while. The past few weeks have been so challenging with baby waking up a lot at night. It started a couple weeks ago. Baby got up one night and refused to go back down. We didn't know what to do. Husband ended up having to get up and let baby play in the living room from 1:30-3:30am. The next night, I figured I'd put a stop to it before it became a habit. Baby went down per normal at 8pm and then woke up around 10:30. I decided to try the controlled crying method of sleep training. She'd cry and we'd go in and rub her belly for a few minutes and leave and let her cry for intervals of 5, 10, 15 minutes. From what I've read, most babies only cry for an hour or so before they go back to sleep using this method. Baby cried for 2.5 hours before she fell back asleep. Then she woke up again 3 hours later.

The next night, since the 2.5 hours of crying seemed like a success, we decided to continue this technique. Baby would not go down at all at 8pm. She fell asleep on my lap, but once I got her into the crib, she wailed instantly. Because I felt bad about her crying, I altered our strategy to the pick up and soothe, then lay back down technique. Needless to say, by 4 am, yes - that's 8 hours of crying, this wasn't going to work. Baby sure is stubborn. I was determined to battle it out with her, but in the end she won. What baby cries for 8 hours? Basically, we've been reduced to letting her sleep in our bed. It's not my first choice, but I don't mind it too much. Our dog sleeps in our bed, so why not our baby?

Husband randomly stuck his finger in baby's mouth last week and made a startling discovery. A tooth! Apparently baby is teething, which may or may not explain the terrible night sleeping. Husband would like to attribute our woes to the tooth and says, well, once we get past this tooth, it will get better. I was like, yeah, this is the first of how many teeth? We're never going to get sleep again!

All this struggling over sleep and our lack of it has really messed with my mental state. I'm super irritable and feel mad all the time. I'm also out to pick a fight with husband over anything. The latest thing that annoyed me about him is his cereal consumption. Last night, every time I went in to take care of the night monster, I hear him helping himself to another bowl of cereal. Granted, we skipped dinner last night, but something about the never ending cereal bowl kind of repulses me.

Also, baby's constipation problems are not getting any better. She'll go 6 days without any action and by then, she's very difficult to deal with. She's not exactly fussy, but she turns into a thrashing fish out of water whenever you try to hold her. Ugh.

All these latest adventures in parenting makes me wonder how other people deal with it. How in the world does that Duggar woman tolerate going through newborn/infant neediness over and over and over again? There's no silver lining in her world?

Anyway, motherhood still sucks!

Ho hum.

I'm kind of bummed about not having much to write about over the last week. Baby had her 6 month doctor visit and is doing great. I was a bit annoyed though, because she was supposed to get two shots then and then the other two in a few weeks. I like spacing them out. Anyway, the nurse gave baby the wrong shot by mistake. Which was fine, but it meant that I had to come back and get the one she was supposed to have. That's kind of scary. That a nurse can make a mistake like that.

So, baby is finally starting to roll over. Babies usually roll over between 4-6 months, but she was a really early sitter, so her delay in rolling over was not much of a concern. Before baby was born, I was really anti gear. It took me quite a while before I could even touch a stroller. I found strollers utterly repulsive - not only because they seemed like a germ mobile, but also because of what I thought they represented. Utter domesticity. Bleech. Eventually, I surrendered to the fact that it's an absolute necessity so, I found the most compact yet stylish one I could find. I chose the Bugaboo Bee in all black.

It's super easy to steer and very light weight. So far, it's been great. Now that baby is getting bigger though, we are finding that it's a bit snug. It's supposed to accommodate kids up to 2 or 3 years old, but with a winter liner, baby is literally wedged into the seat. The winter liner by 7 AM Enfant is like a sleeping bag:

Also, we found the Bugaboo Bee to be great on smooth surfaces, like in the mall, but very rough on the sidewalk and especially on brick sidewalks. It's a wonder that baby doesn't have brain damage. My point is that we need a new stroller. I would never have agreed to this stroller off the bat. It's not exactly the SUV of strollers - the BOB strollers are, but it's close. It's an all terrain 3 wheeler that's not only light, but kind of cool looking. The Bumbleride Indie:

With winter coming, we're definitely going to need a stroller that can handle snowy and icy sidewalks. This thing rides like a dream. The air filled tires and rear suspension make rolling over gravel feel like skating on a rink. It's going to take getting used to pushing around a shopping cart sized stroller, but I think baby will appreciate it. I hope.

Since I'm talking gear, I also just purchased a high chair and travel bed. Until I saw this high chair, I wasn't planning on getting one. I hate high chairs. They're ugly and bulky and plasticky. Yuck. BUT, this one by Valco Baby folds down flat and has a sleek modern look:

Finally for our week long trip to Philly for Thanksgiving, I bought this travel bed by Baby Bjorn:

The appeal of this travel bed vs the Graco Pack and Play is that it is super light weight, un-cheesy looking, and folds down to a convenient size. Also, every where you look, it has rave reviews. It's not really a necessity, but I was afraid to let baby sleep in the bed with us while we're away and then not want to sleep in her crib when we come home. So far, she sleeps in her crib with no fuss and I'd like to keep it that way.

Sneak peek.

So, I wanted to post a preview to the owl costume I'm making. First, I quickly knit this hat. It took about an hour to make:

Then, using some felt and a couple buttons, I fashioned an owl face:

Here's baby wearing it....

Unrelated to today's post, I got an email from a mom from one of my old classes asking me where I shop for baby's clothes. I prefaced my reply email...don't even get me started!! So, I warned her that she might think I'm crazy, but I was more than happy to share all my shopping sources. One thing about my shopping habits is that I'm a sale scrounger. Catching a great sale requires a lot of work. A lot of browsing. Most of my purchases have been summer clearance stuff for next spring/summer. I've had to buy some regular priced clothes for her to wear now, but I haven't really bought a lot. But, come mid-January when everything goes on sale, you can bet I'll be all over it for next year.

Success at the mall.

Our typical weekend includes going out to the Natick Mall. Husband's main motivation is eating McDonalds at the food court. I just like browsing around and enjoying a change of scenery. We usually never buy anything, but today we picked up a few things...

From North Face:

Chocolate Brown fleecy scarf and brown fleece lined cable knit mittens

From Anthropologie:

Then, From Kenzie Kids, I got this dress by Deux par Deux:

I'm almost done with baby's Halloween costume. I'll post the pics shortly. Baby turns 6 months old on Thursday. The past six months somehow seems like an eternity and a blink of an eye at the same time. There are so many hurdles we need to tackle in the next couple of weeks. First, we need to break her of the swaddle. Right now, it is impossible to put her down without being tightly swaddled up. I've been trying this during the day for her naps and the second she hits the mattress, her eyes open up so wide and she looks at me like, yeah right. Oddly enough, she naps during the day not swaddled - BUT she naps on a pillow on our bed. So, my goal is for her to nap during the day in her crib unswaddled. My hope is that by the time she gets used to that, putting her down at night won't be so painful. Our second goal is to break her of the nightfeedings. This is going to be extra challenging because she cannot fall asleep without nursing. One night last week, I tried just picking her up and rocking her back to sleep, but she wasn't having it. She put up a huge fight and all I wanted to do was go back to bed, so I lost that battle and gave in.

I don't know why I have to have these goals. I've read both sides of the fence. Some people say you have to do these things and other people say, do what you want to do. I guess that school of thought is called 'attachment parenting'. I think I fall under that category. At least we don't have a 'family bed'. I guess I'll see what the pediatrician thinks. We'll be seeing him on Thursday.

A little backed up.

Not only have I not posted in a few days, baby hasn't pooped in 6 days. I've fed her prunes the last 4 days and gave her prune juice this morning, so I hope stuff gets moving soon. She's a daily pooper, so this is a bit alarming, but I'm really hoping today will be the big day.

So, the friend making is coming along nicely. It's nice to finally meet some people that I like. Yesterday, after the baby wiggle class, one of the moms walked me to a new store I've never been to before. Maybe it was better that I didn't know about it, because it's definitely going to be a dangerous place for me to frequent. They had a really nice selection of the brands of clothes I like for baby. They had Catimini, Cakewalk, Room Seven and Deux par Deux. And downstairs, they had a huge sale section. Score!

Even though it feels like I've cut back a little on my shopping, my monthly statement seems to indicate otherwise. Some of my recent purchases include:

From Jcrew:

From Oompa toys by Haba:

From Tadpole by Melissa and Doug

From Macys:

Double talk.

For some odd reason, every time I talk to baby, I always repeat myself. For example, "You like this bunny, huh? You like this bunny?" or "Do you see the doggie? Do you see the doggie?" It feels like it's not enough to just say something once...

Anyway, it was really nice having my mom up again this weekend with just her and me. For the first time since baby was born, I slept until 11am!! I was so spoiled by her taking care of baby almost full time. It was great being able to shop around with someone else pushing the stroller too. I was able to run downtown to get the supplies for baby's Halloween costume. We've been invited to a baby Halloween party at someone's house around the corner. I really didn't want baby to have an off the shelf costume...like those from Pottery Barn Kids or Chasing Fireflies. I like making a statement about my creativity. Baby is going to be a pink and brown owl. Basically, she's going to wear a pink footie onto which I'm going to attach wings and "feathers" on the front made from felt. Once I make the costume, I'll post a pic. I also knitted up a hat that looks like an owl's head. It's super cute. Alternately, I also bought the makings for a pink poodle costume. Using the same pink footie, I also found this "poodle like" furry scarf which will go around the wrists, ankles, and at the end of the tail. Also, it will serve as floppy ears onto which I'll attach cute little bows - just like those fancy poodles.

Anyway, husband is back from a weekend away. It's kind of nice to get a break from one another. Kind of re-sets our relationship a bit. Considering that we're home together 24-7, a break is good for us. I hope I can start this coming week on a high note now that I had a break from baby and some me time.

I'm a terrible mother!

Sadly, baby is not the most advanced baby in her caterpillars class. Sure, she's a champ at sitting up for her age, but there's another baby born on the same day as her that is not only rolling over, she is holding her own bottle and feeding herself as well as sleeping 12 hours a night (7pm to 7am). Now, if my baby slept like that, I think I'd be the happiest woman on earth. That mother said that she "Ferberized" her baby at around 4 months old. She spent a week breaking her baby of swaddling and then used the Ferber method of sleep training. Baby also treats the bottle like poison, so I don't think I'll ever see her hold her own bottle and feeding herself.

First of all, we've only just perfected the art of putting a baby to sleep at night based on everything they tell you for newborns. Swaddle them up, nurse them and rock them...and then off they are to lala land. We start bath time at around 8 pm, then read books, then swaddle up and nurse...by 9:30, she's pretty much out for the night. Apparently, this is a bad thing to keep doing at her age. Apparently, I should be teaching her how to get to sleep on her own. Why on earth would I want to do that right now if things are working? As it is, there is ZERO crying at bedtime. Sleep training involves lots of crying. I don't know what the right thing to do here is. Should I follow the 'if it ain't broke' philosophy or should I suddenly undo all the routine that we've established thus far? Baby books should tell you right off the bat that you shouldn't get too comfy with your night time routine because by months 4-6, you need to start teaching the baby to get to sleep on their own.

I fear that I'm becoming the kind of mother I look down upon. Namby pamby spineless mothers who let their kids do whatever they want and spoil them silly. I just can't bear to hear baby cry and some part of me thinks that letting a baby cry teaches her to cry more. It's totally an unfounded and ridiculous idea, but I've barely let baby cry ever and thus far, she's not a crybaby. I'm sure when she gets older and cries for different reasons, I'll have to bring down the hammer, but I just don't have it in me to even try sleep training. I think I'll just get frustrated and then angry if bedtime becomes a big battle every night.

Looking ahead, I wonder how I'm going to handle any kind of friction. Theoretically, I envisioned myself as no nonsense as a piano teacher with a ruler, but with baby in my arms, I just want to protect her from the world and anything that could upset her. Hopefully, I will learn to balance my emotions and the need for discipline. I always thought husband would be the pushover dad and I'd be mean mommy, but I don't want to be mean mommy. I think husband will have to be the disciplinarian. He just doesn't know it yet!

I like someone.

So, I finally met someone I think I like. I don't know what to do....I mean, I want to be friends with her, but I don't want to seem weird or creepy. I knew I wanted her to be my friend when I first saw her in the baby wiggle class. She is also in my caterpillars class, but missed the first class last week due to the sniffles. Anyway, we finally met today and we found that we have a lot in common. The only minor set back is that she lives kind of far, so getting together could be a bit of a challenge. (Far meaning a 25 minute walk from her place to mine.) Anyway, I hope that we do end up becoming friends. It's so hard making new friends at this age. People are so reserved and also you tend to not be willing to put up with someone you don't really click with...I have met a few nice women through these classes, but nothing has materialized just yet. At least I'm out there circulating...

Nada mucho.

It's been a few days since my last post. I'm basically forcing myself to write something now to keep things going. Nothing exciting has been going on here. Husband is off on a golf tournament this coming weekend and baby is excited for grandma to come back. Unfortunately, we won't have the car, but I think we'll be ok without it. I'm a hesitant driver anyway which is why husband drives me everywhere. I had a car in college and drove around quite a bit, but once I moved to the city, I gave up the car and didn't drive for 8 years. I had to relearn when I opened up my store because it was out in the suburbs. Relearning was quite a task. Every time I had to get behind the wheel, my stomach would ache and my palms would sweat so bad I needed to hold the steering wheel with tissues. Eventually, I got back into the swing of things. Driving became old hat again. But once I got pregnant last year, I stopped driving because I was always too tired to drive in the morning so I'd take the train to work and husband would come and pick me up. This year alone, I think I've only driven maybe 5 times total. The less I drive, the more nervous Nelly I am about it. Maybe I should make it a goal to drive at least once a month...

So, over a month has gone by and still no ichatting with grandma and grandpa. I'm a bit annoyed that a brand new macbook is sitting in my parent's kitchen collecting dust. My poor dad hasn't seen the baby since July 4th and he wants to be able to see her, but my mom has some kind of unexplainable force preventing her from getting wireless up and running. Ugh. If I only knew this would happen, I would have spent my 207,000 rewards points on something else.

On an unrelated note, baby's current activities at 5.5 months: been sitting up for 3 weeks already, babbles and shrieks, loves tv, not rolling over yet, reached her arms up asking to be carried for the first time today, eats rice cereal and prunes

Busy Busy.

Baby and I started a new class today. This class ("caterpillars") is the next level after the one that ends on Friday ("next step"). It's great because there are more babies that are the same age as baby. One of them even has the same exact birthdate. Let the competition begin!!! I'm happy to report that of all the babies her age +/- a few days, she's the only one sitting up by herself. Also, a huge plus is that there are a couple women in this class who happen to be in the baby wiggle class that meets on Wednesdays. Finally! Some potential friends. Actually, of the three classes I've taken at this center, this one has the best group of women in it. Most of us went to lunch after class and we all seemed at ease with one another.

So, tomorrow, baby and I have the baby wiggle class, then Thursday, my friend is holding a trunk show to debut her new business. She used to be an employee of mine and decided to start her own business right after I closed the store. It's a great concept. She is primarily a children's party event planner, but she also sells partyware, gifts, and other stuff. I can't wait to see what she's come up with. Hopefully it won't be a total disaster of an evening because it's from 7-9pm and I have to bring you know who... I wish I could leave her at home, but since she doesn't take the bottle, I really have no choice but to drag her along. Then Friday, we have "graduation day" from our next step class. It feels really good to have a busy week like this. The only downside is that it's totally wreaked havoc on baby's naps.

Anyway, last weekend's visit with grandma was really nice. She played with baby every minute she could and when baby was asleep, she sat and watched every breath. That was kind of creepy, but I think she just wanted to soak baby all in while she could. Luckily, she found a reason to come back in two weeks. Husband is playing in a golf tournament and will be gone for the weekend, so she was all over coming back to keep me company. I bought her a plane ticket with my miles so, it worked out perfectly.

So, I just wanted to post a recent purchase...

From Baby Lulu:

I don't like being in a bad mood.

I think what really puts me in a bad mood is not necessarily the lack of sleep. It's the hours at night that I'm up rocking the baby while I can hear the husband snoring away. For example, last night, baby was up from 1:30-2:45 for a feeding and then wide awake from 4am-6am. I don't really mind the feed and put back down rendezvous, but it's the hour of rocking on the chair followed by the hour of walking around the room jiggle dance to desperately get this kid back to sleep. If I don't pick her up to do this, she'll just yell and yell and eventually cry, so to spare my eardrums, I just pick her up right away before all the histrionics.

I suppose nothing is stopping me from kicking the husband to get up and deal with the baby, but he does have to work and I don't. I should be napping during the day when she naps. But who can nap at 11:30am when the sun is shining and there is two loads of laundry to do? If I napped when she napped, then I'd never have any "me" time. I like me time. Anyway, I doubt husband would be all smiles and fuzzy bunnies in the morning if he was rocking a baby for 2 hours while I slept. He can barely hold the baby for more than 20 minutes straight before he "gets tired". This whole imbalance of baby care between a man and a woman is why men think it's no big deal having kids and women are more and more reluctant to go down this road. Ultimately, it's the woman's job to care for a child. Men seem to only be capable of brief entertaining and occasional diaper changes. If a man were to be asked to do more of the childcare, then tension is created because they have to "work" and shouldn't be expected to do more than they feel like doing at home. Now, I can't complain that much because husband is responsible for all meals and also acts as my chauffeur, but it's those middle of the night sessions that really kill me. I hate it!!!

Love the jeans.

Finding the perfect fitting pair of jeans can prove to be emotionally distressing. However, once you find a brand that fits, it's a no brainer. I ordered those James Jeans online, and they came in the mail yesterday. I have to say that they fit like a glove and look absolutely perfect. So glad I never have to go try on dozens of jeans and get depressed anymore. From now on, James Jeans are my go to brand. This is my third pair - I bought the first pair at Barneys and I can't for the life of me find where they are. Maybe the butt ripped and I had to throw them away, but I don't recall that happening. My second pair was purchased from Anthropologie shortly after I got pregnant. They were my "I'm not going to buy maternity jeans" jeans until I couldn't hold off any longer. So, they're a tad loose right now. That's why I had to get these. Even though these jeans are pricey at $158, I literally wear them every single day from October until March.

My go to brand used to be Citizens of Humanity. The average price of those jeans were around $158-185. They fit great too, however, they always wore out in the butt seam area and either ripped, or got so thin that it looked like cheesecloth. I got tired of having to buy a new pair of jeans every 8 weeks - those are too expensive to have to do that.

Anyway, what I need to work on now, is my hideous muffin top. No great pair of jeans can do anything about that...

Grandma's coming.

So, my mom is coming for a weekend visit tomorrow. She hasn't seen baby since July 4th weekend. I'm pretty sure that she's going to be holding baby every minute of the day, so yay for me. I was an only child and growing up as an only was kind of tough. The positive aspects were primarily of a material nature. I didn't have to share anything and I think my parents tried to create happiness by monetary means. My father didn't know how to be fun or loving. He's pretty much a workaholic and all he cared about was that I didn't leave my clothes on the floor. He also hated it whenever I wore black clothing. Even today he hates it. His way of telling me he loves me is by asking me if I'm taking my vitamins. My mom was a typical strict asian mother. I really couldn't get away with anything and being an only child, getting into trouble was a pretty traumatic ordeal. I observed that in families with siblings, parents seem less scary because you can use your sibling to either help the situation or at least gauge how angry your parents really are. As an only, whenever I got into trouble, it was like I just committed a felony and it was the end of the world. When I talk to my mom about how unhappy my childhood was, she chalks it up to her and my dad being stressed out about finances and also being so busy with work.

Although I kind of hated my mom when I was younger, we are suprisingly close. We only started getting along after I graduated from college. I can definitely say that we've reached another level of closeness after baby was born. I kind of expected her to be all overbearing and bossy when baby was born, but she was quite the opposite. She has been very supportive and agreeable to all the decisions I've made. She's a completely different person today than I remember her being when I was young. I feel lucky to be able to talk to her about how hard I'm finding motherhood to be.

I'm a complainer. It comes naturally. I don't know how my mom puts up with all my complaining, but she does. That's why I enjoy this blog so much. I can complain all I want to, and it doesn't matter. I don't have to think about annoying someone with all my complaining and it feels so good to get stuff off my chest. All my whining about how hard motherhood is seems so depressing, but motherhood IS hard. I don't know why more women aren't more honest about their feelings. I find it hard to believe that all women think being a mother is a joy every single day. That they love enduring night after night of trying to put a baby back to sleep at 3am who finally falls asleep at 5am. I mean, for real. This shit ain't fun. It's just part of being in the trenches, and I like telling the truth of the matter. Sure, I could write about how cute baby's smile is, but that's boring. I like to hold my breath and stomp on the floor and throw tantrums. That's how I roll.

Anyway, I don't have much of a weekly shopping update. I'm kind of shopped out for the moment. I did buy a pair of jeans from James Jeans:

Something new.

Baby turned 5 months old today. We celebrated by giving her rice cereal for the first time. She was good at opening her mouth for the spoon, but not so good at keeping the food in her mouth, which was to be expected. I didn't know if I made it thick enough or what, but she just got over a small bout of constipation, so I didn't want to stop her up. We'll work up to a good thickness over the next few days.

On the other hand, our dog has had diarrhea for over a week. It went away over the weekend, but it's back today so, she's going to visit the vet this afternoon. There were a few other dogs on her walking route that had it last week, but they are fine now. It could be anything - hopefully she'll get over it soon because taking her out every hour or so is kind of tough. Also, she definitely doesn't look like she feels well, so for her sake, I hope we can get this figured out.

In a desperate attempt to get a good night's sleep, I tried keeping baby's naps very limited yesterday. I only let her sleep an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon and kept her entertained as much as I could. Well, it seemed to have worked. She slept from 10pm until 6am. There's always a fine line between wearing a baby out and having an over tired baby... Apparently I wore her out because today, she's super tired and all she wants to do is nap. Should I let her or should I aim for another good night's sleep?

Oh Lord

What I wouldn't give for a couple hours of sleep. Baby has decided the past two nights that it was time to get up at 4am. Not just to eat and go back to sleep like usual, but to get up and play and stay awake. I'm not capable of getting up for the day at 4am. It's the worst feeling and I am unbearable to deal with when I'm that tired. I've been taking out my frustration on the husband, which is not very nice, but who else can I take it out on? I literally feel like I could punch someone.

One of my friends who had her first kid a couple years ago told me that having a kid was like having a dog, only better because the kid is always learning new tricks every day. At the time, it make sense to me...I could kind of see her reasoning. But, now that I have my own kid, it's nothing like having a dog. Dogs are better! My dog is very quiet, very lovable, and most especially, sleeps through the night and I wake up every morning feeling like a champ. She's also a great listener and pretty much does whatever I want her to. I doubt this will be the case as baby gets older.

Thank god my mom is coming in a few days. I seriously need a break. Between husband being sick and baby not sleeping, I feel like I'm at my breaking point. Hopefully a weekend with her will fix all that...

A little perspective.

So, I was at my mommy and me class yesterday and the other mothers were commenting on Brooke's outfit. I bought it a few weeks ago from Mulberry Road. It's by the Tea Collection and in my opinion, a non-expensive brand for the look. This was the top she was wearing with navy leggings:

Anyway, I said, oh, thanks... they asked if it was expensive, and said, no, not at all...I think the top was around $26. They gasped as if I had said $126 and remarked that that was quite pricey. They apparently shop at Babies R Us and only buy the $5-$10 clothing. Good thing she wasn't wearing one of her $70 tops. (which she has several). Their reaction kind of made me think about all the money I've spent on baby's wardrobe. I really enjoy dressing her up and her dad seems to appreciate how cute she looks in her designer clothes. So, I doubt I'll change my ways, but it did make me think.

So, husband went to the doctor yesterday for the 3rd time to figure out his illness. This time I think they nailed it. He has a tick borne disease. This doctor had a special interest in infectious diseases and he recognized all the symptoms right away. The treatment involves taking antibiotics for the next three weeks. Thank goodness.

Life is kind of funny because just when you think you can't take something anymore, something happens that kind of relieves all that. I was about ready to send baby to an orphanage when her two weeks of yelling turned into babbling. The babbling sounds were so cute that they just melted my heart. I'm sure after the two weeks of incessant babbling, I'll feel differently, but for now I think it's the cutest thing ever. Maybe by the time I get sick of hearing her noise, she might surprise me and say mama.

Guh.

I'm just going to come right out and say it. Being a mom sucks. I just don't know why people have kids. It's 1) not fun and 2) each minute seems like an eternity. What I really need to do is surrender to the mindset that my life is over. Truly. Well, until baby goes off to boarding school, which she will. I used to have a couple hours in the evening to pursue some interests, but for some reason, it's been taking 2+ hours to get baby to bed so, by the time she goes to sleep, I need to go to bed to maintain my sanity.

Anyway, I'm super cranky and I hope this mood ends. It's a quite miserable feeling and I don't know what to do to make me feel better. Retail therapy hasn't made a dent. I think I may need to hire a part time nanny or something.

On the other end, my mom has been getting on my nerves lately too. I'm noticing that she's aging mentally. She's very sensitive in ways she's never been before. It's hard to explain. I got her a macbook so she could ichat. She's not exactly computer literate, but she's at least knows how to use a mouse. For some reason, she keeps coming up with excuses why she can't get around to trying out the computer. At least she finally turned it on today and when it asked for her network password, she had no idea what it was and I told her to try a couple obvious ones like "password" or her telephone #. All of a sudden, she was like, I just don't have the time to do this now...I have so much work I need to catch up on... Let's do this another time. I was a bit annoyed because we spent two minutes, maybe three at this point trying to get her connected and then she just shut down. Uh...ok.

Hopefully I will be able to relax a bit and cut her and baby some slack. I need like a day off... a day to sleep or do a craft. Kind of be myself for a moment. Hopefully that day will come soon.

Struggling.

I've been really having a hard time coming up with entries as of late. When life consists of sitting in one room all day, there's not much to talk about. It also doesn't help that I've been kind of feeling down in the dumps the past couple of weeks. Baby and I start a new class tomorrow, so hopefully the pickings are better for finding a friend. It will also help that there'll be a reason to leave the house an extra day a week. The class I'm already taking meets Fridays and this new one meets Wednesdays. Hopefully this will help with my shopping problem. That's how I get into trouble... bored...need to get out... how 'bout going to the mall.... oooh, must.buy.that. Although, online shopping is part of my problem. Anyway, maybe if I feel busier, then my need to shop will be less pressing.

Finally I have a reason to actually go on a diet. The wedding is tentatively set for mid January and the thought of squeezing into an unforgiving bridesmaid's dress is enough motivation. As for the wedding, it's a delicate situation. No one is really happy about it and everyone has questions. It'll definitely be interesting to hear the little rehearsal dinner speeches because there are no cute little stories about the couple to speak of. Nor can anyone honestly say that they're a perfect pair because no one knows anything about the guy or anything about them as a couple. Their relationship is based on daily phone calls and that's about it.

Purchases this week.

As usual, I bought a lot of stuff this week... Some of the highlights include:

For Brooke:

A Rody bouncy horse

From Mulberry Road: Dress/Leggings by Pink Chicken A Hat by Tuff Cookie : For Me: From JCrew From Sephora: A T3 flat iron for my hair

Blah.

The husband has been sick for over a week now which means that I've been full time with the baby. I think I'm reaching my limit with being a mother. I'm just kind of sick of taking care of her and can't get a moment to myself. Meanwhile, I get to hear an update on my husband's condition every 10 minutes or so. His illness is a bit concerning because he's had a fever for over a week and went to the doctor twice. They don't know what he has and think he just has some kind of virus, but nightly fever and chills followed by a terrible headache is starting to wear on him.

I managed to get some proper thread for the bead crochet project. Also, I realized that I mis-counted the amount of beads necessary for the project. I already spent $67 on beads alone and basically had to buy $67 more because I actually needed twice as many beads. I started off really rocky - bead crochet looks super easy on the video, but it took me about 10 trys to get it going. I've got half the necklace done and am just waiting for the other half of the beads to come in. The local bead store has the beads, but cost twice as much as the online retailer.

Anyway, big news on the sister in law front. She just got engaged yesterday. I guess I'm happy for her, but it's kind of a shock because she met him on the internet 5 months ago and only met him in person 2 times prior to this weekend. Given her age, you have to assume that she knows what she's doing, but for someone who hasn't dated before and has been dying to get married, you also have to worry. I think if I met him, then I would know whether or not to be excited about this match. I just don't know. I find it a little fishy that after being whisked to the summer place on a private plane he decides to pop the question. I'm also disappointed that he didn't know to ask the father before asking her. Luckily, my husband knew better. Anyway, we'll just have to wait and see.

Stagnant waters.

I'm a bit disappointed that I missed two days of entries. Nothing worthy of writing about has gone on in the last 48 hours, so I guess I can't be blamed. The beads that I ordered came in, however, I got the wrong thickness of string so, I need to hop out to the local bead store to get the right kind. That's one of the downfalls of shopping online. You can't exactly see what it is your getting, so you kind of have to rely on the description. Most of the time that works, but sometimes, you end up with string that was supposed to be "thick, perfect for beading" but instead, it's as thin as sewing thread.

This weekend we are supposed to back to the summer house, but the husband is feeling a bit under the weather. We are thinking of canceling the trip, but the main reason for going is so that we can meet his sister's new boyfriend. This sister has never had a boyfriend, so it's a pretty big deal. (She's 39). Anyway, I was going to hold out and wait until after the weekend to write my next entry, since there would be something to talk about, but I guess I'll have to come up with something sooner.

I'm so proud of myself for this idea...I racked up a ton of points on my credit card from my old business and was itching to use them before they expire. I ended up getting a free MacBook which I'm going to set up for my parents so they can ichat and see the baby whenever they wanted. My mom can hardly wait... She's actually coming to visit in a couple weeks, so this will tide her over until she gets here.

Anyway, today's entry pretty much lives up to the title of this blog... It was bound to happen.

Lucky 7.

Today is my 7th year wedding anniversary. As each year goes on, it seem like less and less of a big deal. We just take it for granted that we are together and assume we'll be together for the rest of our lives. We've actually been together 11 years and knew each other for 15 years. Where does the time go?

I can say that I'm certain that I married the right person. Although he's not perfect - I'm definitely not - he's as good as I can imagine and sometimes I need to remind myself how lucky I am that he's willing to put up with me. Right before we got married, my mom asked him point blank: "Are you absolutely sure you can handle this brat? Believe me, it's not easy." Gee thanks, mom.

Now that we have the kid, things are kind of different. I feel like we're not us anymore. The days of drop everything and hit the movies or let's eat a quick dinner at the bar or let's lie in bed and watch tv until 3pm on a Saturday are over and now it's all about what's the baby doing, how's the baby feeling, what does the baby need right now. I'm still adjusting to the new way of life, but boy do I miss our old way. I feel like most normal people don't think this way - they feel like having this focal point is what's been missing in their life.

Anyway, we usually go out to a fancy restaurant for our anniversary. I think this year, we'll be ordering pizza. At least pizza is one of my favorite foods.

TV watchers anonymous

Having grown up as an only child with both parents who worked full time, the television was my best friend. I started watching at a pretty early age. First came Sesame Street and Captain Kangaroo. Then Mr. Rogers and Electric Company. I also enjoyed the Lawrence Welk Show, Archie Bunker and The Jeffersons. Once I started to go to school, I would turn on the TV as soon as I got home around 3pm and it would be on until about 9pm at night. On the weekends, I could watch as soon as I woke up and, if we didn't have to leave the house, it would be on until I fell asleep and night. I was able to watch pretty much whatever I wanted. I remember watching 3's Company, ALF, Small Wonder, Mr. Belvedere, Moonlighting, The Love Boat, Fantasy Island... I think I watched pretty much every single popular show in the 80's. One thing that really confused me was why one character on Growing Pains name was "Boner". I don't think that would fly on today's shows.

Not much has changed over the last 10 years. Being a homebody really helps in the ability to watch so many shows. HGTV is a real staple for shows. TLC and A&E are second runners up. A&E has those train wreck type shows that you just can't look away from - ie Intervention, Hoarders, Obsession etc... There is just so much good reality-ish TV out there that I really haven't been watching very many regular shows. I think the one show I never miss is Grey's Anatomy. I used to watch The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and America's Next Top Model religiously, but I got burnt out on those shows. It was too much of an emotional commitment, only to be let down a couple months later because "things just didn't work out". Big surprise.

For a while, my favorite shows were American Chopper, Miami Ink, and Dirty Jobs, but those have lost their appeal too. I still watch LA Ink, but only if I remember. One show I never watched when it was on prime time was Malcolm in the Middle. It's on a couple of times during the day. That is a genius show. Hilarious. The father, Hal, in that show is just killer. The best was when Lois found out she was pregnant with their 5th kid and Hal goes out to the car to cry like a baby. Another great episode is when Hal shows off his roller skating skills. King of the Hill is another show that I really love to watch.

TV has been such a big part of my life and has taken up a larger portion of my brain than anything I learned in school. Now that I have a kid, I wonder if I'll let her become an addict. My sister in law doesn't allow her kids to watch TV at all, mainly because of the commercials. They watch tons of videos instead. I guess I'll play it by ear...

Monkey see, monkey do.

Thanks to my mom, I'm very fortunate that I know how to knit, crochet, sew, needlepoint and basically take a look at something and figure out how to make it myself. After having gone to that Adler Grier trunk show and dropping a couple hundred bucks on a necklace, I am determined to make my own. It's basically a crocheted bead rope. I've never crocheted beads or crocheted a rope before, but the internet has proven to be my #1 teacher. Between youtube videos and various beading websites, I think I can do it. I bought the supplies which was surprisingly not cheap either. Based on my necklace, it takes approximately 250 beads to make one and I chose gold filled beads. The cost for the beads alone came to $67. I also had to buy a crochet hook, thread, and a gold magnetic clasp. If it turns out well, I plan on giving it to my mom for Christmas.

One thing about being crafty sometimes is that you tend to start a bunch of projects and never finish them. I've got about 4 or 5 abandoned knitting projects, one huge crocheted afghan project that is only 1/3 completed, needlepointed belts that are 95% complete, and the list goes on. I think my most successful hobby has been quilting. I made a baby quilt, a twin size quilt, and a couple of quilt tote bags. A new quilt project for my bed has been simmering in the back of my mind as of late. The color palate will be tones of grey and light aqua. I just can't commit to buying all the stuff just yet. The second thing about crafting is the stockpiling of yarn, fabrics, ribbon, and whatever else seems to come in handy "some day". Unless you have a designated craft room, all these supplies end up as random piles in various corners of your home.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted as to how the crochet bead necklace turns out...

Purchases this week.

I've actually bought a bunch of little things this week... too many to post but here are some of the highlights:

From Target:

From Land of Nod:

4 smaller baskets - 2 grey and 2 pink

From Henry Bear's Park:

A knit your own monkey kit, by The Little Experience.

From Moolka:

From Village Baby in Brookline:

(By Tea Collection. They were all 40% off....bought them for next spring)

This set above is by Scout Baby

Somehow this page got all messed up here at the bottom. Anyway, that's it for now.

Doggie blues.

Our dog, a 9 year old rescued beagle, had a really stinky mouth and it was about time we did something about it. Two years ago, the vet recommended a dental cleaning and it sounded like a great idea at the time because her mouth stank and she apparently never had any dental care before. It was an expensive treatment (around $700), but we thought it'd be worth it because dental problems can lead to more serious health problems in pets. Well, it was definitely an experience to remember. We dropped her off at the vet first thing in the morning and were told that we could pick her up around 2pm. I guess something happened (we'll never know) and we couldn't pick her up until around 6pm. She was still extremely groggy and walking like a drunk sailor. She slept it off and seemed somewhat normal the next day. I was off to a trade show and my husband was left to aid in doggie's recovery. Starting around 8 pm or so, doggie started to feel sick. For the next 12 hours, she was vomiting and crapping blood every 30 minutes or so and my husband took no less than 12 trips up and down the elevator by dawn. (We live in an apartment building). By that time, a trip to the emergency room was needed.

Our city has one of the best animal hospitals in the country. It's amazing what paying cash for services gets you. A gleaming facility, top notch doctors, and free parking. None of the human medical facilities that we go to have free parking. Anyway, upon arriving at the animal hospital, doggie was admitted right away for observation. Needless to say, the emergency visit, a day and an overnight stay ended up totaling around $2500. So, add the original dental cleaning to that... I immediately vowed to brush doggie's teeth every single day for the rest of her life. I went to CVS and purchased an electric toothbrush and went to the pet store and got dog toothpaste. I did pretty good the first couple of weeks...then I brushed, oh, every other day...then maybe once a week... then, maybe once a month... to I don't remember the last time I brushed them.

So here we are today. We brought her in yesterday to have her mouth looked at. This time we didn't take her to the vet. We went directly to the animal hospital. The dental surgeon could not have been more friendly and thorough in explaining the anatomy of the teeth and gums and the ins and outs of the procedure etc etc etc. He happened to have an opening for today, so we booked the appointment. His initial assessment of her mouth was that she had mild to moderate periodontal disease. X-rays would be the only way to tell how bad things were. Well, turns out that she needed 4 teeth pulled and an infected pocket cleaned out and filled with some antibacterial gel. The visit yesterday was $250 and we paid a $450 deposit when we dropped her off this morning. Upon picking her up today, the balance came to an additional $540. Ouch. And that's not describing the state of doggie's mouth. What we do for our pets. All we can ask of her is non-stinky kisses and the hope that she stays with us a bit longer.